That’s right: we’re going to Tahiti, baby. We’re packing 786 crates of BucketLust special sauce onto a flotilla of good-time yachts and sting sail to this French Polynesian gem where every clichéd scene is born out of the most melt-your-mind-truth ever!
Surrounded by a sh*t load of Pacific Ocean, this island paradise is basically 50 shades of outriggers, thatched bungalows, pristine beaches that are whiter than Pablo Escobar’s favourite pick-me-up, and emerald lagoons everywhere your eyes dart; lagoons you’ll want to dive into at first glance (probably leaving your swimmers on the deck of your party palace just so you can tell everyone you, “skinny-dipped in f***ing paradise!”)
And this ring-shaped reef is just one moment on a coral reef made up of 118 epic atolls. Basically, your Instagram is going to blow up like an old testament volcano and cover everyone who follows you in lip-biting jealousy.
There’s Bora Bora, Taha’a, Ra’iátea, and Moorea. Huahine-Nui, Huahine-Iti, and Tetiaroa — which is so frickin’ epic Marlon Brando went there once and then said, “yeah, I think I’ll buy it,” and then slapped the cash on a table, smiled his Hollywood smile, and picked up the keys to his brand new Pacific island (*could he get any more Brando?).
To sum it up: Tahiti is that one bucket list entry that everyone scribbles down first, in their thickest Sharpie, and then circles in red pen a dozen time with the words “must go here” — and we’re taking The BucketLust there to SEND IT with our FOREVER SQUADS to create the sort of good-time memories that will rock and roll in local folklore for next hundred years and beyond.
The bad news is: this route is already sold out.
The good news is: we’re doing this route again in 2020. So start saving, start planning, start dreaming and dancing, drinking and raving, and start filling your fancy dress box because we’re taking a debauched AF seafaring adventure to the remotest part of the Pacific Ocean, and it’s going to be EPIC.
1. Grip It And Rip It
Tahiti is one of those places you could crash land onto any white sand beach and then gawp at the three-sixty vistas of mind-puddling paradise. But when you mix paradise and our lust for life, you’ll find your official gawping time is limited to the ten minutes it takes you to munch through a bacon sandwich on the bow of your boat before the day kicks off. Why? Because we’ve got too much epic sh*t planned.
Big fin snorkelling with the local sea turtles, scuba diving over the bright light coral reefs, swimming with sharks, paddleboarding along the palm-lined shores from a pop-up party to a beach rave, high-fiving each other in the mysterious Mara’a cave grotto, and swan-diving (okay, knee-tuck bombing) into the turquoise water — one hand holding onto your bikini top and the other gripped tight to a bottle of tequila, because if we’ve learned anything, it’s tequila makes every story better.
2. Rock The Boat
Our motley crew of misfit skippers might be the best sailors you’ve ever adventured with, but they’re also the most life-loving pirates you’ll have ever partied with too. They’re party pirates. Salt-licked seadogs that love nothing more than dropping their anchors, rafting their yachts together in a wild-time circle, and giving our world-famous DJs the nod because there’s not a party on the planet that can rival our offshore raves. And each night, a different boat gets to host a yacht-rave for the other unicorns in their squad. Themes are set, inflatables bob about, champagne makes it rain in paradise, fists pump, shapes get thrown, and bedroom eyes fill the liquid dancefloor. It’s partying 2.0 and Tahiti, you beautiful beast, you deserve something special.
3. Badass Beach Landings
We might have built a reputation for celebrating the ocean breeze, running fingers through salty hair, and making waves through the medium of circle-raft parties, but we like to take in the on-shore sights too. We just like doing it the BucketLust way and, in Tahiti, that means filling our rucksacks with cold beers and rosé vino, and taking to the tourist spots in giant panda heads and sexy costumes.
We’ll be taking the party to the pearl farms of Ra’iátea, doing a fancy dress congo to the long black sands of Venus Point, raising our hip flasks of who-knows-what to the ancient temples, strapping Soundbok speakers to our backs and hiking through the hillside vanilla plantations, galloping through the small surf on the backs of stallions, and then hopping into jeeps to race through the rainforests and valleys, up mountains thick with sh*t that will make you go wow, past waterfalls so awesome they look fake and down all the dirt tracks this volcanic Shangri La has to offer as the words “I live for this sh*t” get ripped out of your mouth and left if the dust cloud of euphoria in your rearview mirror.
4. Sundowners And Resting Beach Faces
There’s a reason you’ve ditched whatever mainland your from, blitzed through three packs of batteries using your Walkman on the flight to Tahiti, and boarded one of our good-time galleons on the other side of the planet — and it’s to have a good time. No. It’s to have the best time of your life. The sort of time that won’t fade with the years. The sort of time that will make your belly do more flips than sugar-filled pancakes on Shrove Tuesday every time you think back to this route. And that’s what we’re f***ing groovy at.
We bring the fun to the water – and the island – and turn the entire landmass into your hedonistic playground where every unicorn lives their best life and every fantasy loses its sh*t in the best way possible. We scout the best beaches, ready the sails, hand out expensive AF booze, drop our anchors in the bright blue lagoons and head to shore armed with all the Soundboks you need for the sundowner rave of the century; your eyes glistening with love and lust as you dance on the soft sands, staring out at a sea of stunning vistas and beautiful people — volcanic mountains and pacific panoramas, bikini-clad babes and hard-bodies in squad boardies.
That’s what we do better than anyone, anywhere. We turn parties into epiphany trips. The sort that will make you rip your shirt off by the buttons and swing it around your head like helicopter blades, as the sand jumps in time with the heavy bass line and an assault of life-affirming moments hit you like a cluster of lightning bolts.
5. Mora Mora, Bora Bora
We don’t care if you’ve slipped into a sparkly thong and raved in Rio or danced on the tables of Elvis’ Beach Bar in Anguilla — you’ve not lived the life of a thousand partycorns until you’ve danced up the beach to Bloody Mary’s. It’s like nowhere else on the planet. Founded by the mad maverick, Barren Jerzy Hubert Edward Von Dangel, this place has been making jaws hit floors since 1979. It brought the party to the Pacific. Charm, romance, lust, love, jungle vibes and signature cocktails. Anything can happen on any night at this place — that’s its allure.
And that’s just one of the places we’ll take the party when we get to Bora Bora — the other is The Yacht Club. It’s as exclusive as it is elusive. A place everyone wants to walk into and order a drink from the bar. It’s an icon of the island. A place that steals oooooos and awwwwws and celebrates all the best things about this island’s spirit. But the real f**k yeah moment here is the wooden deck that salutes the lagoon — either you’ll shed a tear, or you’ll grab your crush by the elastic and make the move you’ve both been waiting for.
6. Your “Coming Home Never” Resort
If The BucketLust is party-hard proof that not all vacays are created equal, then La Tahaa proves that not all 5-star resorts know how to make your hips shake, souls quake and lips whisper the word WOW — but that’s exactly what this SEXY AF Tahitian hideaway does. It’s in a freakin’ world of its own, with the lush shores of Taha’a kicking back on one side and the slinky silhouette of Bora Bora on the other, it’s voluptuous curves making you bit down on your lip as you and your squad share this once in a lifetime moment together.
7. Food Fit For Poseidon
What the heck can we say to do this middle-of-the-ocean lump justice – it’s foodie heaven, especially if you’ve got taste buds that celebrate seafood like you’d celebrate a festival. But here’s the real smile-maker: you don’t even have to step of your floating fun house to enjoy meals so good you’ll have a million cutlery down moments, because every other night we’ll be cooking the freshest fish onboard. Can we get a “HELL YEAH!”
But that doesn’t mean we’re letting our standards slip in between because we’re doing anything but, baby. We’ll be swimming ashore to chow down at the swankiest places in town to Instagram with a #nofilter eat all the local F**K YEAH FOODS you can imagine — Poisson Cru (which is red raw tuna in an epic marinade), coconut cooked a thousand ways, parrotfish, barracuda, sea urchin and octopus, and if that ain’t making your mouth trip the light fantastic, you’ll probably get to enjoy a Hima’a too. They’re insane – in the most awesome way. It’s a feast of chicken fafa, fish, suckling pig, shrimp, lobster, banana, breadfruit, taro, and yams all cooked in underground ovens (go suck it Gordon Ramsey!).
8. Take A Chance With Teahupoo
What’s the point in travelling halfway around the world – to a speck so small you can’t even see on Google Maps – if you’re not going to pop a board under your feet and try to take on Te-a-hoo-po, which is only the heaviest wave in the ocean. It’s SO EPIC it actually means “Severed Head”. And you can say you surfed this B*TCH. Don’t freak out, though.
This stunning stretch of bright blue water doesn’t always scream, swirl, twist and torment into a beast wider than it is tall — it usually peels perfectly across this badass reef with total freakin’ awesomeness. But it would be cool to fluke an attempt and ride in on the gnarliest barrel in surf history and have one of the unicorns from your FOREVER SQUAD catch it on the ‘gram. Hell, it would be hard to deny anyone entry to our Hall Of Heroes if that went down.
9. Do It Like A Local
Do you know what the coolest f**king thing about our routes is? We revel in the local traditions and must-see moments — we just spice them up a bit. We raise the sails, yell YEEHAW and take-off like jumbo jets, bouncing from paradise to paradise so that our motley crew of misfit life-lovers get to see all the local spine-tingling wows and hair-raising charms. Why? Because every far-flung pocket of the planet is bursting with stories; stories that are ready to explode across the night sky like a New York City fireworks finale. So rip off your clothes, chuck on your squad swimwear and pull down your explorer’s hat because we’re going to make your brain fizz with unusual adventures and madcap memories. Hell, you might even find yourself sat in a bamboo chair as an ink-covered bone taps into your skin. After all, Tahiti is the home of the tattoo.
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